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![Athenais de Montespan [Aunt DuPomp]](http://barseven.htmlplanet.com/firkhamhall/Madamframe.GIF)
Aunt "DuPomp" went to France to shag the King and effectively ran the country for 15 years!
![Jean Paul Marat [Squeaky Clean JP]](http://barseven.htmlplanet.com/firkhamhall/marat.GIF)
Cousin Jay Pee was a manic obsessive.The family exiled him to France after a disagreement over bathroom abuse.While there he fell in with a Parisian tart named Marat and took her name. He met a grisly end while pursuing his favourite pastime.
![Napoleon Bonaparte [Great Uncle Nappy]](http://barseven.htmlplanet.com/firkhamhall/nappy.GIF)
This Uncle was always popular with the Firkham infants because they usually towered over him.
One day,unable to stand the bullying any longer.. Nappy took a day Trip to Calais and never came back!
...unfortunately Uncle Wellingtons duty-free baccy money disappeared with him! You would'nt believe the bloody great ding-dong that little stunt started!
![Queen Victoria [Tanta (Sticky) Vicki]](http://barseven.htmlplanet.com/firkhamhall/vicframe.GIF)
Auntie Vick...married into a dodgy kraut family and became Queen of Blighty
Great uncle Edward always said;"She's a rum 'un that one, I just don't know where she gets it from!"
![Franz Ferdinand [Weird Cousin Franz]](http://barseven.htmlplanet.com/firkhamhall/Franzframe.GIF)
Cousin Franz was a bit peculiar...
He liked to dress in gels clothes
The Firkhams thought two Queens in the family were quite enough
thank you very much.
![Psychic Dump [The family mutt]](http://barseven.htmlplanet.com/firkhamhall/anidump.gif )
Psychic Dump is the seventh son of the seventh son-of-a-bitch. As a puppy he started exhibiting his unearthly powers,on many occasions he hypnotised the cook into leaving the larder door open! He could also manifest mysterious puddles on the floor of the Great Hall. Now in his dotage he brings spiritual relief to millions through his own website.(Click on Image to visit)